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I've just received the news.
You're alive.
My eyes scan the lines on that piece of parchment I hold in my hands. I read them again. And again. And yet again. I understand the words but their sense eludes me.
How can you be alive?
I saw your body, burned and broken but it was you. I know it was you. The evidence was all there. Your staff. Your earring. The charm I gave you that had always been around your neck.
So how can you be alive?
My hands begin to tremble.
I buried you. I laid your ashes to rest. I cried over your grave.
How can you be alive?
I still stare at the words that threaten to shatter my world into a thousand pieces. They blur before my eyes as my head starts to spin with the absurdity of their meaning.
I don't want to believe it. I can't believe it.
If I believed any of those words to be true I would have to admit that everything else has been a lie and I just can't do that.
But the seed is already planted as the words slowly sink into my conscience.
There already is the tiniest of thorns in my heart and that thorn is called certainty. The certainty that every single, black letter on that parchment is indeed true.
You're alive.
My mind and heart are mercifully numb.
I don't want to think.
I don't want to feel.
I just want to delay the inevitable acceptance a little longer and so I let my thoughts drift to long past memories before they are able to focus on reality.
Gentle hands caressing my face.
Whispered words of love.
Long, deep kisses under a setting sun.
Promises of forever.
Those are bitter-sweet snap-shots of a past when my world was still safely secured in its hinges. I used to draw comfort from them. Now the sweetness vanishes and all that remains is bitterness.
My world breaks apart.
The tiny thorn explodes. The truth hits me full force now and it is not just the truth that you are alive.
It feels like someone has lifted a veil from my eyes, making me see for the first time.
The trembling of my hands makes the parchment crackle. It's the only sound in the room and for some reason it reminds me of bones scraping over stone.
You betrayed me.
The charmer.
The manipulator.
The master escapee.
You had it all planned out, hadn't you?
You never intended to stay.
To you, this place has been just another prison with me being its ever-present guard. All those loving words rolling off that golden tongue of yours were nothing but a means to an end; a way to put the watch-dog down when the time was right to run again.
Humiliation worms its spiteful tendrils into my guts and cheeks with the realization that I have been used and my throat becomes tight with shameful tears.
I wonder, do you laugh at me?
Are you probably sitting in some filthy tavern right now, slapping your thighs in amusement as you are telling your drinking buddies the hilarious story about that foolish woman who was so willing to believe any and all of your sugar-coated lies?
The tears spill over and leave dark splotches on the light-brown parchment.
You've played me like a lute and oh, have you been good. The melody has been just too beautiful, too enticing to be ignored. I was too enthralled to hear the dissonant chords that undoubtedly have been there.
No mage I know has ever dared to fall in love.
The line splits my thoughts like a lightning bolt splits the clouds in a thunderstorm. It hangs over my head like an executioner's axe.
I should have known when you said those words that they included you but instead I ignored their true meaning and chose to believe that you were the exception from the rule.
Can anyone be more pathetic?
I clench my hands into fists and the parchment rips and crumbles.
Fury flares up, hot and scorching, devouring the shame and self-pity.
My heart closes itself off from the pain.
I throw the parchment into the flames in the fireplace and watch as they burn the truth to small gray flakes. They get caught in the pull of the chimney and vanish from sight.
There is only one truth for me.
You're dead.
You died long ago and I buried you. I laid your ashes to rest and I cried over your grave.
The man who betrayed me is someone I don't know.
The man who is said to be still alive is not you.
But I am curious about who it is instead and I make a promise.
I will find that man.
I will find him and cut that golden tongue out of his mouth.
I will chop off those hands that have so formidably played that beautiful melody and made me dance to the tune.
And when I'm done a new song will fill the silence, strong and loud and clear.
This is my song and this time I am the one who strikes the chords.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-02-08
Suggester says, "I have chosen this piece in particular because I think it should be accessible to everyone without knowledge of the fandom. More than that, it really affected me. It portrays the raw emotions of the narrator, who has already had to grieve the loss of their love, and now faces a worse loss, a betrayal and negation of that 'love.'" Puppet on a String by wotan345 ( Suggested by ErinM31 and Featured by SingingFlames )
JessieShadowhold Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Pretty powerful stuff. If I were someone who'd lied to you right now, I'd probably sleep with one eye open...
wotan345 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Good thing then that's not really me in that story, is it? ;)
JessieShadowhold Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yep... but I'd still be pretty worried. 'Cus you know, it's not always COMPLETELY fiction :D 
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on the Daily Deviation! :clap:
wotan345 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! I'm still... shocked. And flattered. And excited. And very grateful. :)
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
GhostsPrincess Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautifully written
princesswanderer Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student Writer
what is this fanfiction of? this plot line is great
Sir-Herp Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student General Artist
Huh, doesn't strike me as a fanfic. This was an interesting read, and that ending was just ouch.
Great work, and congrats on the DD! Have a nice day~ :D
furchild1204 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wait... this is a fanfiction? It's amazing, and so dramatic.
PencilMermaid Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i find this bauetiful and it sounds so similair to so many fandoms that i have to ask which fandom it was based off of?
wotan345 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is from the Dragon Age Fandom. Basically everything I write at the moment is based on it, but if I picked your interest, feel free to check out my other stories if you like ;)
AyZeee Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student General Artist

This is beautiful! Love, treachery, rage, sorrow... many words that I don't know the definitions too! XD I hope to hear more!

Congrats on DD!

Fluttershy9096 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Soooo good!
Hynacynth Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This was absolutely amazing ahhh congrats on the DD! :heart:
watsisface Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love that last line SO FLIPPING MUCH. It's amazazing. Thank you for putting this out here. 
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :party:
wotan345 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :)
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure! :heart:
miblover334 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I didn't even realize this was a fanfiction until I saw the category underneath. You have a strong command with words, and the picture you painted was very clear in my mind. I think I'll pick up a copy of Dragon Age when I get paid next because of this, it has captivated my attention. 
wotan345 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
oh wow! You find me humbled, really. It is an incredible feeling to know that my little stories can have such an impact on people. Thank you so much for the compliment! It warms my heart and I'm sure I'm a few inches taller now :)
ErinM31 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
Oh wow, this is awesome! :wow:
And this is so how I felt about Anders after my first playthrough of DA2 -- so betrayed, and was it all a lie??? :iconcryforeverplz:

You use the unconventional choice of writing in the present tense to your advantage, making your stories feel very immediate and emotionally raw. I love your imagery and the range of emotions you explore in this piece. Well done! :clap:
wotan345 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Erin! For both the kind words and the Daily Deviation. :blowkiss:
ErinM31 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
My pleasure! :hug:
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Submitted on
August 28, 2013
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